* This is the testimony I gave at my church word-for-word on Sunday. I know that we were having some technical difficulties, so it was hard to hear me if you weren't at the service. So, I thought it would be a good idea to put it up on my blog as a blog post. My testimony is real, it's vulnerable, and it's embarrassing. But it is something I need to talk about. My testimony is the reason I am so passionate about Christ and about sharing what He has done in my life. This is the reason I choose to share it.
"Hello everybody. My name is Jenn. I am a worship team member and a college and career leader here at the church. I also help with morning worship and lead Bible studies on occasion.
"I wanted to share with everyone how I began serving here at the church:
"Since I can remember, I have been involved in music. The first song I ever played at church was “Jesus Loves Me” on the piano. I was six years old and remember it vividly because I was super nervous! By the time I was 15, I was the only pianist at the church my family and I were attending, and I was playing for the congregational singing every Sunday morning. I hated it. I had no fulfillment serving by playing the piano. I was doing it out of guilt because I felt that it was something I had to do.
"Finally, I met and married Garett, and we started coming to Crossroads Community Church in 2015. Within a month, I was asked to join the praise team. I don’t even know how anyone knew I could play the piano, because I don’t remember telling anyone! But Mark (the worship leader) approached us and asked us to come to one of the practices. I remember feeling appalled. I didn’t want to play piano for church ever again. But, once again, guilt took over and I decided to go to the practice.
"For three years, I served on the worship team at church with little to no enjoyment. I was complacent and refused to push myself any further than I had to. Some weeks, I wouldn’t even practice the music. I didn’t want to do anything else at the church other than the piano, because I felt that was quote on quote, “Good enough.” Garett and I would often get into nasty fights about it. He would tell me that I was not serving to the best of my ability. That I was a selfish person. That I was complacent, lazy, and not willing to use the talent God gave me. These might sound like harsh words, but he was right. I just couldn’t see it at the time. Worst of all, I would often yell at him for the amount of time he spent at church with his leadership role in the youth group.
"Then 2018 hit. I got fired from my job at JCPenney. I had little direction in life. I decided to go back to school, even though I had no job and no money. Needless to say, it was a huge mistake.
I began working at a factory in order to make money. It was the worst experience of my life. I was working 40 hours a week, and then going to school full time at night. The job wa